The Defense Mechanism of Being “Okay.”

I have written so many things about life encouragement. Sometimes pouring hope into my words is the only thing that convinces me to go on, like they have a magical pull that will keep my spirit up. However, on most days it is just about being okay- going through boring routines- not being sad nor happy, just a blank slate.

It is the human way of staying sane.

We are mostly driven by the power of our emotions. These are fueled by our energies, and being just “okay,” is the act of our body to defend itself. It keeps it surviving, recognizing that this stagnant stage is for renewing energy.

It is though, a different story when you become so steady that all your emotions- including rage- are pent up inside you. This paves way for overwhelming reactions that are not good for you and the people around you. Acknowledging that these emotions are part of you makes it easier for you to gain control over how to express them, but sometimes, like I have said, not saying anything is also just enough.

People have the misconception that being “okay” is a bad thing, like it is you settling for less and not having the drive to yearn more in life when actually being “okay” is the way to contention- and what is life if not the search for what will make one content?

Being just “okay” means that you are in touch with reality and have acceptance of how your life flows, but it should not mean that “okay” is enough.

I know I got you confused there. Let me explain more.

“Okay” should only be a stage of reflection. It should not be permanent.

Our feelings, and life in general is not a one way line- it is a cycle. In a cycle, when one gets stuck in one stage, it becomes meaningless and unable to move forward.

Being just “okay” is the breaks in between the ups and downs, allowing you to transition into them. Humans will be unfulfilled without the purpose of seeking for something, and in that our emotions should be exercised in all ways. We need to feel pain in order to feel happy. We need to feel angry in order to feel peace. We need all the contrasts and we need “okay” to go between them.

So if you are just “okay” right now, take your time, but remember- there will always be something after, and if that exhausts you, you can always take a break and just be “Okay.”

It is Not A Cinderella Story: The Reality of Poverty

The pandemic has taken over the world and made it halt- but it cannot stop the graduation season. Countless of stories of success flood your social media timelines, mostly of people who have made it despite of setbacks. How the world loves to romanticize sufferings- the inspiring drama makes us teary eyed and hopeful. We uplift the people who we think have made it in their harsh lives, and it is in our human nature to sympathize.

Poverty should not be romanticized.

Rags to riches is one of the most popular storylines because it shows that if they can, why can’t you? We worship these even though we are well aware of the facts that only one in a million make it while the rest of us scrap by. We fail to realize that we shouldn’t be inspired by such because opportunities and wealth are equally distributed in an ideal society. We are so accepting of this broken system that we applaud those who reach the finish line, without even thinking about why their roads are bumpier than ours.

We talk about a child who climbs mountains just to get to school. We talk about girls who fight back for their educational rights. We talk about kids who are forced to endure hunger while in class. We talk about them like they are normal, but the real question is why is this all even happening in the first place?

For every one person who gets their Cinderella story, thousands in the world suffer. It is never about the effort you put in, but it is more about how their levels are only on 10 while yours is 100. No matter how hard they try, they will always just reach a 10 while you look down on them from your 20th and mock them because the climb has already taken a toll on them.

Perhaps on the evolution of human beings, we have been conditioned to accept hierarchy like it is part of us. We forget that we are the ones who created it in the first place, these invisible lines that make visible impact in our lives. The more we are advanced, the more our gaps widen. It is no wonder that those who find their eyes open to the many imperfections of the society are still trying to make their voices heard, because the truth is, we have not resolved anything fully. We are still bound by prejudices. We are still in this pyramid and the bigger it gets, the more the foundation widens- the rich get richer while the poor get poorer.

The true way to success is not through hardwork- it is through the right opportunity.

That’s the only answer.

A man can plow his land and it still would not grow him crops simply because he has a bad land. Why doesn’t he change the land then? Well, he simply can’t because he is on an island. He can perhaps grow other things, but would it be the same as a man who has rich soil on good land? It would never be. Should he be just satisfied with what he is given then?

We try to justify it with contentment. It is true that happiness only comes when you decide it for yourself, and you can only be satisfied when you are contented. Again, we are so accepting of how broken our society is that hope is the thing that keeps us in check.

The greatest lesson to all this is that we should realize how much privilege plays. You may think that you are just doing average, or even barely making it, but only when you see the real face of poverty in the eyes of those who are on the streets, hungry and lost, will you find yourself accepting of how the right chances got you to be lucky. We should always remember kindness and be the opportunity that someone needs to make a change in their lives, then perhaps in that we can all change the world.