The Defense Mechanism of Being “Okay.”

I have written so many things about life encouragement. Sometimes pouring hope into my words is the only thing that convinces me to go on, like they have a magical pull that will keep my spirit up. However, on most days it is just about being okay- going through boring routines- not being sad nor happy, just a blank slate.

It is the human way of staying sane.

We are mostly driven by the power of our emotions. These are fueled by our energies, and being just “okay,” is the act of our body to defend itself. It keeps it surviving, recognizing that this stagnant stage is for renewing energy.

It is though, a different story when you become so steady that all your emotions- including rage- are pent up inside you. This paves way for overwhelming reactions that are not good for you and the people around you. Acknowledging that these emotions are part of you makes it easier for you to gain control over how to express them, but sometimes, like I have said, not saying anything is also just enough.

People have the misconception that being “okay” is a bad thing, like it is you settling for less and not having the drive to yearn more in life when actually being “okay” is the way to contention- and what is life if not the search for what will make one content?

Being just “okay” means that you are in touch with reality and have acceptance of how your life flows, but it should not mean that “okay” is enough.

I know I got you confused there. Let me explain more.

“Okay” should only be a stage of reflection. It should not be permanent.

Our feelings, and life in general is not a one way line- it is a cycle. In a cycle, when one gets stuck in one stage, it becomes meaningless and unable to move forward.

Being just “okay” is the breaks in between the ups and downs, allowing you to transition into them. Humans will be unfulfilled without the purpose of seeking for something, and in that our emotions should be exercised in all ways. We need to feel pain in order to feel happy. We need to feel angry in order to feel peace. We need all the contrasts and we need “okay” to go between them.

So if you are just “okay” right now, take your time, but remember- there will always be something after, and if that exhausts you, you can always take a break and just be “Okay.”

This Is Why You Should Hold On

This is why you should hold on.

You don’t have to get out of the dark. You have let it consume you, but sometimes.. sometimes we need to be in shadows. I just need you to light a little flame there, like the dark night with a lone star- lonely, oh so lonely, but hopeful. I want you to hope.

You don’t have to forget all the pain. You don’t have to forgive. But don’t ever remain hurt just to blame yourself. I just need you to accept the pain and embrace it- for scars are beautiful. I want you to fight.

You don’t have to pretend. You are not okay, and that’s fine. You don’t have to put on a mask, you don’t have to force yourself to feel something, or to be someone. I just need you to be you, no matter how everybody else sees you. I want you to help yourself.

You don’t have to move forward right now. This journey isn’t easy, and if you are stuck in this road, it’s okay. I just need you to never let go, no matter how much you want to give up. I want you to try.

This is why you should hold on.

And the fact that you are still holding on,

just shows that you are strong.

This is for you, who’s thinking of giving up today. // hrh

Photo: Basketball Diaries

A Judgment of Character

The amazing thing about people is that time doesn’t really measure how much you know them.

It’s confusing to see people you’ve known for years to become a stranger to you.

Or someone you are with to somebody you used to know.

It’s crazy to witness an unmasking of a fear you never really know was there, a pride that was always in its slumbers. A sadness that you have never noticed even through the mirrors of the soul.

Or a laughter that was always behind a poker face. A laughter behind all the anger. Beauty under the darkness.

We cannot blame people for changing, because in most times, they never did change. It’s only about how they have chosen to reveal themselves to you, and how you have managed to unveil them.

Sometimes, it’s about who you are to them and they to you.

// hrh

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

There are a lot of questions in my head right now, and I can assume you ask yourself the same. Why is life so ironic? Why is everything complicated?

Like for instance: If you ask someone about the color of the sky, they will intend to explain it in a most scientific way possible, pairing it with facts, because that is how it really works. But have you ever wondered why the answer just can’t be as simple as the way you answer a 2-yr-old kid and say, “God painted the sky blue on the 2nd day.”

Alas, my friend, the truth is that even though we know a lot about the world, we are still blinded by reality. There are things beyond what we see, and this is the reason why we blame fate and God for the happenings in our lives, for we have no assurance of anything even if we try to do everything. We are in a gamble, an endless battle, where the gifts or curses of the risks we take are only revealed in the end.

Even the wisest man cannot explain every secret to you, because some things are better left unsaid. Know why?

We cannot answer without questions. We cannot love without hate. We cannot find something without seeking. We cannot win without fighting. We cannot live without dying. Things work in Irony, as there is North with South, and East with West, Day with Night, Beginning with End.

So you see, my friend, I cannot explain anymore, because the mystery of life can only be unveiled by the ones who walk through it. I have seen it, but nothing is clear for me yet; as life still breathes in me, and I am taking this opportunity to seek for more.

Travel with me. Time is telling me to keep dreaming and reaching.

Love,

// hrh

When Should I Trust? Who Should I Trust?

When should I trust? Who should I trust?

Dear Friend,

In a battle, a warrior must guide his own back. There is no one to fully trust, because sometimes, exposing your vulnerability will only mean danger for you.

My friend, in a war where in you are left alone to fight for yourself and the rest of the world, you cannot help but seek for company, for someone who will fight alongside with you. As no man is an island, we are social in nature. We do not just exist, for we coexist with one another.

But why am I saying this?

I think I have to remind you that no one else can fully read your mind but yourself. You alone can understand you, you alone know you, and you alone can change you. Yes, some may have a glimpse of how you act, they may even judge you, but do they know the reason behind why you are such? Do they even care to find out? And if they do, do they understand what it feels like to be you?

I’m afraid they cannot, my friend, because they can never be you the same way you can never be them. We are born with similarities, but we are molded with differences. It is as of how all apples are apples but we taste them in various ways.

So I must say, that even though we are tied in a commitment, you cannot expect anyone to fight your battle for you. They have their own war to win, my friend, expecting much from them will only hurt you.

Love,

// hrh

Wear Your Scars Like an Armor

You have always been questioned about your scars. You would sometimes give a laugh for an answer, for you know that even without your words they already have assumed answers on their head. And they look at you with curious eyes, not knowing that you can see through them. You can see their judgments, you can see their disgust, you can see their pity. Then, while you are gone, they talk as if they know you when they don’t, and they stab you silently with the stained glasses of your trust that they had broken.

What they don’t know is that you’re a fighter. With your own blood you cleanse their wrongs by ignoring them and living the best of what you can have.

Continue reading Wear Your Scars Like an Armor

There is a Reason Why You Always Feel Lost

Have you ever wondered about the reality in where there is a different version of ourselves in every person we encounter? It is like we exist with different story lines connecting into one that is our own. To the kid you passed by and smiled at because there was ice cream on his face, you are the stranger who found him amusing while his mother scolded him for getting stains on his new shirt. To your friends, you are the person they go to whenever they need help.

Even the mirror reveals different parts of you each time you look at it. On the day of your wedding, you are a princess getting her happy ending. At 6AM, you are a cranky adult who hates his job but needs to wake up to pay the bills. On a day when everything is falling down, you are someone who is again, lost.

It is no wonder that despite the continuous rotation of life and no matter how much we discover it, we often find ourselves lost.

There is no definite version of ourselves. Every day, we are reborn into a slightly alternate version of the same selves. It may sound confusing, but we humans have a core with many layers that we peel off in every smile, every tear, every moment. It is our duty to ourselves to live in each layer we take off, because reaching the core is only when we can say that we have fulfilled life.

Whenever you feel lost, remember, it is just because you haven’t lived enough and the only way to dismiss that feeling is to continue living.

// hrh