I have come to a realization that you can only know the real world once you have seen it through the eyes of those who suffered most. To what degree, though, one might say, because there is no way we can judge the suffering of each one and justify it as greater than the others. Some see it in wars, some in poverty, some in silence battles that hide behind masks of glittering images. Pain, in every way it is, is still pain. In this common ground you will find how the human heart relates with each other, because there is no greater comfort than knowing you are not alone.
To see it, one must take the journey of looking back to memories they have longed buried and relive the experience. Be in that feeling again; the hurt, the pain, the hopelessness, and remember how it made you to be who you are now. Remember that you have this, and other people go through the other things that can account for it. You have scars on your heart, others have it on their minds. You might have a fresh wound now, others might have already had it for years and yet the pain haunts them like a lost limb.
When one understands, then it becomes clear what the answer is- kindness. Kindness is so rarely pure, and bless those who have them so genuinely. Often it is developed from regrets, from guilt, from making amends. Are we to judge then if it is still considered as good? Kindness is a good virtue- but I say no. Kindness, no matter its form, will always be kindness.
Let kindness grow from your own pain, then perhaps, this world would get the change it needs. However, it is mostly wishful thinking for we know that with free will comes cruelty and injustice. Then I must revise; let kindness grow from your own pain, then perhaps, one’s life would get the change it needs- your own, or another’s, and then maybe both.
— There is no greater thing than growing kindness and letting it bloom. // hrh
This is why you should hold on.
You don’t have to get out of the dark. You have let it consume you, but sometimes.. sometimes we need to be in shadows. I just need you to light a little flame there, like the dark night with a lone star- lonely, oh so lonely, but hopeful. I want you to hope.
You don’t have to forget all the pain. You don’t have to forgive. But don’t ever remain hurt just to blame yourself. I just need you to accept the pain and embrace it- for scars are beautiful. I want you to fight.
You don’t have to pretend. You are not okay, and that’s fine. You don’t have to put on a mask, you don’t have to force yourself to feel something, or to be someone. I just need you to be you, no matter how everybody else sees you. I want you to help yourself.
You don’t have to move forward right now. This journey isn’t easy, and if you are stuck in this road, it’s okay. I just need you to never let go, no matter how much you want to give up. I want you to try.
This is why you should hold on.
And the fact that you are still holding on,
just shows that you are strong.
— This is for you, who’s thinking of giving up today. // hrh
Photo: Basketball Diaries
You came to me with a strange look on your face while we sat down to look at the sky again. I knew by then you already have a question on your head. I waited, listening to the wind whispering to the leaves. Minutes passed by and silence swept over us.
Finally, you spoke and said, “Why?”
I waited for more, but apparently that was all you said. I thought about it, and came up with this:
“Why? I do not know. Some things happen, some don’t. No one knows. But that’s what keeps living; we live to know the things we probably won’t even know.”
You smiled at me, and took a deep breath. And just because of that, I understood- I understood how it felt to live.
There are a lot of questions in my head right now, and I can assume you ask yourself the same. Why is life so ironic? Why is everything complicated?
Like for instance: If you ask someone about the color of the sky, they will intend to explain it in a most scientific way possible, pairing it with facts, because that is how it really works. But have you ever wondered why the answer just can’t be as simple as the way you answer a 2-yr-old kid and say, “God painted the sky blue on the 2nd day.”
Alas, my friend, the truth is that even though we know a lot about the world, we are still blinded by reality. There are things beyond what we see, and this is the reason why we blame fate and God for the happenings in our lives, for we have no assurance of anything even if we try to do everything. We are in a gamble, an endless battle, where the gifts or curses of the risks we take are only revealed in the end.
Even the wisest man cannot explain every secret to you, because some things are better left unsaid. Know why?
We cannot answer without questions. We cannot love without hate. We cannot find something without seeking. We cannot win without fighting. We cannot live without dying. Things work in Irony, as there is North with South, and East with West, Day with Night, Beginning with End.
So you see, my friend, I cannot explain anymore, because the mystery of life can only be unveiled by the ones who walk through it. I have seen it, but nothing is clear for me yet; as life still breathes in me, and I am taking this opportunity to seek for more.
Travel with me. Time is telling me to keep dreaming and reaching.
When should I trust? Who should I trust?
In a battle, a warrior must guide his own back. There is no one to fully trust, because sometimes, exposing your vulnerability will only mean danger for you.
My friend, in a war where in you are left alone to fight for yourself and the rest of the world, you cannot help but seek for company, for someone who will fight alongside with you. As no man is an island, we are social in nature. We do not just exist, for we coexist with one another.
But why am I saying this?
I think I have to remind you that no one else can fully read your mind but yourself. You alone can understand you, you alone know you, and you alone can change you. Yes, some may have a glimpse of how you act, they may even judge you, but do they know the reason behind why you are such? Do they even care to find out? And if they do, do they understand what it feels like to be you?
I’m afraid they cannot, my friend, because they can never be you the same way you can never be them. We are born with similarities, but we are molded with differences. It is as of how all apples are apples but we taste them in various ways.
So I must say, that even though we are tied in a commitment, you cannot expect anyone to fight your battle for you. They have their own war to win, my friend, expecting much from them will only hurt you.
You have always been questioned about your scars. You would sometimes give a laugh for an answer, for you know that even without your words they already have assumed answers on their head. And they look at you with curious eyes, not knowing that you can see through them. You can see their judgments, you can see their disgust, you can see their pity. Then, while you are gone, they talk as if they know you when they don’t, and they stab you silently with the stained glasses of your trust that they had broken.
What they don’t know is that you’re a fighter. With your own blood you cleanse their wrongs by ignoring them and living the best of what you can have.
Continue reading Wear Your Scars Like an Armor
Have you ever wondered about the reality in where there is a different version of ourselves in every person we encounter? It is like we exist with different story lines connecting into one that is our own. To the kid you passed by and smiled at because there was ice cream on his face, you are the stranger who found him amusing while his mother scolded him for getting stains on his new shirt. To your friends, you are the person they go to whenever they need help.
Even the mirror reveals different parts of you each time you look at it. On the day of your wedding, you are a princess getting her happy ending. At 6AM, you are a cranky adult who hates his job but needs to wake up to pay the bills. On a day when everything is falling down, you are someone who is again, lost.
It is no wonder that despite the continuous rotation of life and no matter how much we discover it, we often find ourselves lost.
There is no definite version of ourselves. Every day, we are reborn into a slightly alternate version of the same selves. It may sound confusing, but we humans have a core with many layers that we peel off in every smile, every tear, every moment. It is our duty to ourselves to live in each layer we take off, because reaching the core is only when we can say that we have fulfilled life.
Whenever you feel lost, remember, it is just because you haven’t lived enough and the only way to dismiss that feeling is to continue living.