It Is Not You I Miss

It is not you I miss, but the gap you left me with makes me think of it. I know I am long over you, as I am writing this I can’t even remember your face anymore. It’s funny how the small things that used to mean so much to me no longer matter. Like the sound of your voice; I remember how I would feel at peace just by hearing you during our late night talks.
 
The feeling of being alone is what haunts me. I miss having someone to call mine, I miss the feeling of being in love. And yes, even though I have been broken many times I still hope that someday, I will come across someone who will finally be the one who’s just right.
 
It is not you I miss, but being together completed me. It is not that it defines me, but I know for a fact that love is what makes us whole. The sense of belonging to someone makes one realize that the world is even more beautiful when you have someone you can share it with.
 
It is not you I miss, but love.
 
I’ve forgotten you; it’s been a while and I no longer love you. I have learned to be with myself and I don’t really mind it even if I would end up alone forever. I have hope, though. My heart hopes for another story, maybe another heartbreak; another chance to believe in love again.
 
It is not you I miss, and I think I’ll never do anymore.
 
— It is not you I miss;
I miss the someone I will love next.
 
// hrh
photo: A Walk to Remember

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

There are a lot of questions in my head right now, and I can assume you ask yourself the same. Why is life so ironic? Why is everything complicated?

Like for instance: If you ask someone about the color of the sky, they will intend to explain it in a most scientific way possible, pairing it with facts, because that is how it really works. But have you ever wondered why the answer just can’t be as simple as the way you answer a 2-yr-old kid and say, “God painted the sky blue on the 2nd day.”

Alas, my friend, the truth is that even though we know a lot about the world, we are still blinded by reality. There are things beyond what we see, and this is the reason why we blame fate and God for the happenings in our lives, for we have no assurance of anything even if we try to do everything. We are in a gamble, an endless battle, where the gifts or curses of the risks we take are only revealed in the end.

Even the wisest man cannot explain every secret to you, because some things are better left unsaid. Know why?

We cannot answer without questions. We cannot love without hate. We cannot find something without seeking. We cannot win without fighting. We cannot live without dying. Things work in Irony, as there is North with South, and East with West, Day with Night, Beginning with End.

So you see, my friend, I cannot explain anymore, because the mystery of life can only be unveiled by the ones who walk through it. I have seen it, but nothing is clear for me yet; as life still breathes in me, and I am taking this opportunity to seek for more.

Travel with me. Time is telling me to keep dreaming and reaching.

Love,

// hrh

When Should I Trust? Who Should I Trust?

When should I trust? Who should I trust?

Dear Friend,

In a battle, a warrior must guide his own back. There is no one to fully trust, because sometimes, exposing your vulnerability will only mean danger for you.

My friend, in a war where in you are left alone to fight for yourself and the rest of the world, you cannot help but seek for company, for someone who will fight alongside with you. As no man is an island, we are social in nature. We do not just exist, for we coexist with one another.

But why am I saying this?

I think I have to remind you that no one else can fully read your mind but yourself. You alone can understand you, you alone know you, and you alone can change you. Yes, some may have a glimpse of how you act, they may even judge you, but do they know the reason behind why you are such? Do they even care to find out? And if they do, do they understand what it feels like to be you?

I’m afraid they cannot, my friend, because they can never be you the same way you can never be them. We are born with similarities, but we are molded with differences. It is as of how all apples are apples but we taste them in various ways.

So I must say, that even though we are tied in a commitment, you cannot expect anyone to fight your battle for you. They have their own war to win, my friend, expecting much from them will only hurt you.

Love,

// hrh

Icarus and the Sun

I’ve tried to understand how our story went
and now I know
that our love is that of Icarus and the Sun
too blinding, too risky, too deadly-
it was meant to end as fast as it started.

I am the blinding Sun you’ve yearned for years
but you’ve forgotten you’re made of wax
so on the day you finally flew near me
you find yourself melting away slowly

Your promises
Your secrets
Your sincerity
At the end, you walk away like they’re nothing

As I have loved you more, you suffocate
because you become less day by day
While I burn brighter than anything else

I am the Sun
You are Icarus
No matter how much I hold on
I’ll just kill you.

And you have killed me, too
by telling me that those short days
meant nothing to you
and by letting me pretend
that we haven’t shared
a few days of passion
a few days of ecstasy

But on the days after you’ve left
I find myself no longer wishing to be with someone else
And I envy how you seem to be okay
better, even, without me
while I’m getting dimmer
and dimmer
until I fade eventually.

— for the Sun is meant to be alone // hrh

art by: Gabriel Picolo

Fallen Angel

Why are stories of angels
being cast away
were always about them falling in love?
of how they have gazed
upon a face
and felt their souls ache
longing for greater than what is above
Yet, even as they are damned
they would do everything
to protect and save their beloved

They say that being in heaven
is being home
maybe that is why
angels would rather
have their wings stripped off
and fall.

– So please don’t ask me
why I love you more
than I should. // hrh

Wear Your Scars Like an Armor

You have always been questioned about your scars. You would sometimes give a laugh for an answer, for you know that even without your words they already have assumed answers on their head. And they look at you with curious eyes, not knowing that you can see through them. You can see their judgments, you can see their disgust, you can see their pity. Then, while you are gone, they talk as if they know you when they don’t, and they stab you silently with the stained glasses of your trust that they had broken.

What they don’t know is that you’re a fighter. With your own blood you cleanse their wrongs by ignoring them and living the best of what you can have.

Continue reading Wear Your Scars Like an Armor

When You Came

Perhaps you found me
at a time when I was lost
and just beginning to understand
myself again

Perhaps you were
the first light
that I have seen
after being in the dark
for so long

Perhaps you were
just a stranger
with the enough amount of kindness
and a little bit of charm

Regardless of how I have foreseen
you leaving
and how I have long reminded myself
not to fall again
You had me at an impact
and broke my heart
just the same.

And now I’m back to how I was before you came. // hrh

photo: Remember Me

Just Your “Sometimes,” Never Your “Always”

Sometimes you’d surprise me out of nowhere,
ready to spend the day with me
Sometimes your smiles would be meant for me,
and you’d look at me like I was your world
Sometimes, you’d call in the middle of the night
to tell me you miss me
Sometimes you’d look into my eyes
and tell me you love me

While I always wait for you to come,
and you’re the only one my eyes see,
How I always miss you when you’re not with me
and how I always say I love you daily

Because that’s the thing-
I am just your “Sometimes”, never your “Always,”

and I love you too much to be contented with pieces of you
while I give all of me.

– But just this once, I don’t need a “Someday,” I need a “Today.” // hrh